Feb 15 2009
Happy Valentines Day! Fun or boring? What are you doing today?
How is your valentine’s day going so far? Mine is ok. I was actually feeling a little under the weather today so, I wasn’t really having much fun. I think I have a cold and some bad congestion. It was bad enough that my apartment was kinda hot and outside was cold. When I opened my windows it felt like a breath of fresh air. Well my Valentine’s Day gift was a pair of brand new sneakers. I liked that fact that he got me something because, I thought he wasn’t going to get me anything. I told him a few days ago that we were not in a relationship anymore. I told him that I enjoy being single because there isn’t any problems. If you are single then you don’t have to deal with any arguments or other crap. I am happy to have a peace of mind and be single. In reality, I am still around him everyday and we still sleep in the same bed for the time being. Therefore in a way we still act like we are together in a relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend. I can’t help but to think he is sexy and cute. I can’t help but to be concerned for him when he is hurt, hungry, or needs my help. Yes I love him but I don’t want to be hurt again. He doesn’t seem to understand how I feel and why I can’t be with him. First of all I don’t trust him because of past incidents and his current customer service job position. He just thinks that I should forgive, forget, and start over. I think he should work on gaining my trust and taking me out more.
Anyway, my friends came by for Valentine’s Day and we chilled for a while. We was bugging out and listening to music for a few.We had fun for a short while and then it seems like they were rushing to leave. I was a little saddened by them rushing to leave after 2/3 hours but its cool. I know that things get crazy in Brooklyn-New York around a holiday. I have felt very withdrawn from my friends lately and maybe that’s because of my over jealous significant other. Well I hope that things get better for me soon. It seems like everything is falling apart for me including my health and social life.
