mslovely101

Have you ever felt so upset that you don’t know what to do? Right now I feel so angry and sad that,my heart feel like it has a 3 ton weight over it.One problem after another.One stupid problem after another.I try to resolve most of my problems without any further damage being done.My so-called love partner and I had an argument about masturbation.I don’t think anything is wrong with masturbation. A woman should be free to masturbate any time she feels and the same goes for a man.I never thought someone would get so upset over someone else masturbating in privacy.I don’t need anyone’s shit about masturbating being ethically wrong or any of that stuff.He got upset over my masturbating because he said that it made him feel inadequate or less of a man. I was upset about having my privacy invaded and having my feelings hurt,crushed,and throw to the side.I would never get mad at my partner masturbating because, if he is not hurting me or bothering me… then it’s all good.Unfortunately, in my life I get no understanding and it kills me and I’m so tired of the bullsh*t. Like people say…”New day,Same Sh*t”.All I want it to chill,handle my business,and just live.I am a cool,laid back,down to earth person that hates drama.Selfish,immature,proud-azz, dumb-azz,f–ing people!!My heart is hurting so bad I want to cry. Well I have already cried once today so, another time still wont help anything.I feel like no one hears anything that I say, like my words have no impact on my life or the life of others. All I try to do is stay positive,offer some positive words to friends and loved ones, so all I try to do is help. No few words can explain how I feel inside. I feel: hurt, betrayed, sad, misunderstood, heartbroken, trapped, hopeless, depressed,emotionally drained,ignored,and just tired of drama.Then I think to myself that I will be cheered up by my son picking him up from school but, no just more BS. He was misbehaving in school and not listening to his teacher, again.This bad behavior has been happening more and more often and the more I talk to him, help him with homework,and help him understand that school is important….the more I get kicked in my azz. That is why I took the liberty of giving him a good azz-kicking. Im fed up with all this bull in my life. Never can I stay happy because, everyone….including my son is just against me and makes life difficult for me. Life is not meant to be easy of course, but if only the strong survie then..Im surprised I have lasted this long. I dont see myself as a strong person or as invicible to pain because, Im not some superwoman. Im just human. I feel like people are spitting on my grave while Im burried alive or some crap. Then after my “partner” realizes he may have been wrong and has ruined our plans for today….he offers to buy me some blank cd’s/dvd’s. That is all I get for his unkind workds to me. Its like someone offering you a piece of gum after they stomped on your lunch. What do you do when you feel like you are on the end of your rope????